15 Steps to Healing A Broken Heart

A writer once wrote, “relationships are like glasses, sometimes, it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.”

A broken heart can be healed but it starts with you. Firstly, you must take the decision to heal your broken heart. You must say to yourself, “the relationship is over. I want to be happy again, I want to live well because I deserve It.” only then can your journey to restoring your happiness begin. Am happy you have taken the decision.

Healing a broken heart is not an easy task but it is achievable. Many have been through it, and many yet to go through it. So, it isn’t impossible.

Steps to healing a broken heart:

1)Let your feelings out: Don’t hide your feelings. Cry as much as you want to, grief as much as you want to, it helps to ease your tension and pains.

Share your story: Talk to your friends, family and mentors. share your experience and lessen the burden in your heart.

2)Get rid of things that reminds you of your ex: If you don’t control your mind, your mind controls you. Try to get rid of everything that will make the thought of your ex rushing back into your heart. Discard his pictures, Delete his lovely messages, package his gifts, and pretend he or she doesn’t exist. This step is very necessary, don’t neglect it.

3) If possible, avoid your ex completely: one thing I must point out is, you must make absolute sure the relationship was ended properly. You want to break up? Then, break up properly. Don’t call, E-mail, chat or see your ex till you are sure you have gotten over him or her. This can speed up your healing process.

4) Hang out with friends and family: There are people willing to stand by you in this most trying period, try to hang out with them. spend more time with your family and friends. They can help alleviate your pain and sorrow.

5) Keep yourself busy: The relationship is over for good. You can’t spend your day thinking about your ex. He or she doesn’t deserve your ample time. So, keep yourself busy doing the things you love. You love to chat? You love to read? You love to write? Etc. Then, spend time doing those things you love. This can make you feel better.

6) Listen to music: I love music a lot. I always feel that music has this magical touch that soothes the mind and soul. Music can help you forget about your problems and sorrow; it can create an enabling environment for you to have a little introspection. If you love music, try to make it your companion.

7) Focus on the future: You lived well when you haven’t met your ex definitely, you can live well after he or she is gone. Show your ex how well you can live without him or her. Pretend he or she doesn’t matter in your life anymore and move on with your life. Hey! Life is too short to be spent grieving over a person that doesn’t appreciate your worth. It’s time to focus on your future.

8) Be optimistic: I want you to always exhibit the spirit of optimism. There are better days ahead of you. Believe that your future is brighter and it shall be just as you believe.

9) Exercise and eat well: Research has shown that exercising and eating good food helps one to overcome depression. It’s normal to lose your appetite after a breakup, but you must try as much as possible to live well. Therefore, try to exercise and eat good food. It can help hasten the healing process.

10) Try new things: Are you feeling bored? Then, spice up that life of yours by trying out new things. C’mon, you can get rid of that bored life by exploring new things. You can catch a movie, go for shopping, go to shows, learn a business and so on. Life is too beautiful and interesting when you do new things.

11) Give yourself time: some persons say, “time heals all wound.” Time is very necessary for a broken heart to be healed. If it doesn’t take you a little time to heal your broken heart, then, it wasn’t love. Be patient and allow time to settle all unresolved feelings and thoughts. With time, all the anger, hate, depression, frustration, quest for revenge, hopelessness you feel within you will slowly fade away.

12) Forgiveness: surprised? Dear readers, you must know this: “a forgiving mind is a harmonious mind.” Your healing process can never be complete without the act of forgiveness. Your ex must have hurt your feelings. You feel like crushing him or her. Yes, it’s normal to feel that way, but you must try to control your feelings. Think not of revenge, and forgive your ex. Forgiving your ex might seem very difficult but it pays at the end.

13) Pray for the grace of God: God can mend a broken heart. Ask for his grace to overcome the trials you are faced with.

14) Learn from your past experience: Everything we encounter in life occurs for a reason. In fact, nothing happens by chance. There must be something to learn from every experience in life. At a certain point, you must try to meditate, think about your past relationships. Why did the relationship fail? Did I play my role well? Where was I lacking? Was there anything I could have done to make it better? And so on. This will help you learn new things regarding relationships and how to handle it better.

15) At the right time- whenever you think you are ready, learn to trust and love again: Dear readers, “it takes love to heal a broken heart.” Some might ask, “can I still love again?” “Of course, you can.” Remember, the future still matters a lot. Life is all about the future not the past. The past remains in the tomb and the future lies in the womb. Don’t you still dream of a perfect home? That dream must become a reality. You have to make it work. You have learnt from your past relationships. Right? Then, with whatever you have learnt, try to build a new and better relationship. And finally, always remember that God loves you.

Know Your Worth And Always Believe

I'm feeling inspired to write a post today as the cold Mumbai winter is slowly trickling in. Since the Holidays are fast approaching, I think it's important we take the time to reflect on our selves, on our year, our accomplishments as well as our challenges, as we look towards 2018.

I think sometimes we get caught up in the fast life where we're constantly being pressured to perform better, compete with others and trying to live up to impossible expectations. Sometimes we forget about the things that make up happy, the passion and pure love we have for them because we unfortunately live in a society where greed, criticism and hatred thrives. It's that vicious cycle of low self-esteem, lack of motivation and inspiration, self-doubt and failures. Sometimes it feels like it's impossible to even see any success out of constant set backs and so what a lot of us do, is we run. We quit because we can't handle the pressure. We think quiting is the only option.

But... what if I told you that quitting isn't the only option? What if I told you that perverseness and hard-work can get you anywhere you dream and you'll one day be truly happy? Would you believe me?

The thing about that is it's also a quite naive idea because nothing in life comes easy. Nothing in life is ever linear. We're trained and educated to think linearly. But that's not reality.

In truth our lives and the world we live in is so nonlinear it sometimes feel we're being thrown in different directions.

The past three years of my life have definitely been the hardest but my outlook on life has completely changed, and for the better.

After losing my Grandpa today, I've met and heard stories from people alike and people different all with different perspectives, experiences and ideas. But what made every single story and person so empowering was the idea that in spite of tragedy, loss or hardship, the power of the human spirit and the inner strength and resilience that can be built amazed me. I no longer looked at myself as a lost cause. As someone not worthy of love or happiness. Grief didn't define or control my life. I didn't have to be ashamed of who I am.

My grandpa died when I was welcoming new year 2018. I was going through growing up and experiencing so many new and overwhelming things for the first time in my life and that combined with his death, made me very fragile and vulnerable. I struggled with wanting so bad to be normal but trying to grasp that this was reality and the hard challenge of coping with this loss.

My grandpa was my best friend. Whenever I visit to my native place, and i was unsure or sad, he always reassured me. He never let me give up. He was always by my side, supporting and believing in whatever I did.

After he died, I no longer had someone to reassure me. To wipe away my tears. To push me to keep going. And so I stopped. I stopped believing in myself and eventually I didn't want to be alive. I was stuck in a vicious cycle of fear, pain, anger, sadness and isolation. My anxiety and depression began to eat me alive. I couldn't get out of bed in the morning. I couldn't sleep at night. I picked away at every thought and every emotion, so overwhelmed I went numb. I was scared. Everything at home was different. My family felt like slowly falling apart. We all lost a little bit of ourselves.

And so my journey to healing and self-discovery began. It took so many social workers, counselors, compassionate teachers, friends, a camp and many tears later to realize that I still had a life worth living. The amount of support I received from the community around me helped me to turn my life around.

And trust me it hasn't been easy and I know that I still have so much more to discover and grasp about my loss. But I got a whole lifetime and heck if I learned this much in three years I wonder where I'll be 10 years from now? And yes, if you haven't noticed already I am a dreamer. I am a hopeful and very cliche person but all that I'm sharing is from experience.

And finally, I simply just want to live. Live to finish struggling periods, follow my dreams and be apart of change in the world. I want anyone out there who may be struggling, I want you to know that you have a purpose. There is only one of you and your uniqueness is what makes you beautiful. You don't have to conform to society's social norms and stereotypical boxes. You don't have to feel pressured be like anyone else or live up to any standards. You set the standard and the goal for yourself. You know your ability and limitations and don't ever let anything hold you back.

Lastly, remember your story and your voice matters. I'll leave you with this question: Now, what would your story be?